So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
