i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize