So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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