dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
