I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
