He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize