ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
