Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
