You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
