Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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