nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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