You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
