There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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