Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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