I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Im part way to drunk.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
