Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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