True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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