why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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