The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
