so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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