I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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