I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
