4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
