Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
