i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
