Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
