as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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