You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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