I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
