take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
