i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
