you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
