You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
