i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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