Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
only you would photoshop your dick
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
