maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
