dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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