Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
