Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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