So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
