Don't you send me to vm
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
