That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
