So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
