My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
