how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
