I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
