How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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