Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
