I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
