new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
