I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
