I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
