I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
