Ambien. No doubt about it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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