I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
