But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
