Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
