I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
