first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
