To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
