LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize