yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
