my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Its about making memories worth repressing
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
