Ketchup is God's man juice
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
