C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
